Only 10 More Days!

James and I had an appointment this past Tuesday where we found out that I was almost 2 cm dilated and that my OB wants to induce me on the 20th. We will be going to Riverside that evening and hopefully deliver Avery early morning October 21st! I have been having contractions but they come and go, which is nothing to go to the hospital for. But man are they painful! I am so uncomfortable for those 15 minutes of Braxton Hicks contractions that I cannot imagine feeling that pain for hours. Poor James will have to deal with a lot during my time of labor.

Hopefully I do not go early because I am not big on surprises and I like the fact that this delivery is scheduled. We are still very nervous after the whole delivery. I am going to miss out on just delivery our baby and then starting to take care of her right away. I am hoping it does not take more than a month before we can hold her. It kind of sucks that this is our first baby and we do not get the normal delivery experience as everyone else.

On a positive note, she is growing very well still and her heartbeat is strong. She is also breathing very well on her own (as well as she can inside me). Hopefully she can keep up her strength after going through the birth canal and being delivered. We had an appointment for her heart stress test and she passes with flying colors! Here is a picture of James and I picking our first pumpkins with me being as large as a house!

We would still appreciate your prayers as this whole situation is very stressful for James and me. We have a long journey ahead of us and hopefully we do not get anymore surprises. I will try to keep everyone updated about steps with Avery. Her heart condition is rare and does not even have a specific diagnoses, but the doctors have a plan and they sound like they know what they are doing.

Keep up the prayers and good thoughts. Thank you.

Sometimes It’s Good to be Scared…

“Sometimes it’s good to be scared, it means you still have something to lose.”

I love this quote. I borrowed it from Grey’s Anatomy, which is one of my favorite shows. They always have the best quotes.

As of now I am 32 weeks and 6 days into my pregnancy. Each day that passes, I continue to get a little bigger, a little more uncomfortable and more tired. For the past two days, I have had a bad sinus cold which is not helping me be motivated to do stuff I need to get done. The couch has become my best friend. I never knew a piece of furniture could offer so much support. I guess that is what it is there for.

Yesterday we had another doctor’s appointment for Avery’s heart. If you haven’t been reading this blog since the beginning, my unborn daughter has a serious heart defect. Her valves on the right side of her heart do not work like they should, which is causing her heart to be enlarged. Yesterday though, we found out that the valve going from the right aortic to the right ventricle is not there at all. The right side of the heart pumps blood to our lungs and the left side pumps blood to our body.

As it turns out, many people survive with only the left side of their heart, which is my optimistic thought for the day. She will have to survive without her right ventricle because they cannot do anything to open that valve. So now the doctor has to literally rewire her heart so that the left side will pump blood to her lungs and body. He told us that she might have to be in the hospital for several weeks to several months. And there is always a chance that she could not make it at all.

Now to monitor her heart, we have to see the doctor two times a week to make sure her growing heart is not stressing her out. If it becomes too much for her to take, the doctors will have me deliver early. They said she can have the operation now, but they would like to wait until she is at her biggest. No matter what though, we won’t be able to take her home after a week or so. She will have to have multiple surgeries and be held at Nationwide Children’s Hospital ICU.

It is very frustrating that she has to go through this and that we have to go through this. People who don’t even want to have a kid when they get pregnant end up having healthy babies, but James and I, who could have been more excited, have to deal with the world turning upside down. Now we just have to wait for the weeks to pass by and the results of every appointment. Luckily, our doctors seem to know what they are doing. They really want us to be comfortable that Avery will be in good hands and that they have a plan. But we admit that we are scared. It is a scary thing not being able to help your child.

But like I said before… sometimes its good to be scared, it means you still have something to lose.

Only Weeks to Go

I can’t believe that in a short, 11 weeks, James and I will be meeting our little girl. It seems like yesterday I was sitting in the bathroom peeing on a stick and coming out to tell a very anxious man that I was pregnant.

Lately, I have felt very at ease. Everyday I feel Avery kick more and more and my stomach is noticeably getting bigger. We have even started to decorate her nursery. Taping is as far as we have gotten but it is a start. We have everything ready and this week will be painting week. I am really excited to get all of her decorations up and see the beautiful theme come together.

People are still concerned over Avery, which I am too, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. I know that no matter what, things will happen like they are supposed to. I do not think we are being punished, I just think we have to go through a little hardship to make us appreciative or stronger as a family. I know I’m thankful and that James is thankful for however Avery comes out.

The baby showers are also coming up and I cannot wait to have my first baby shower! I love little baby stuff and I know it will take me hours to open presents because I will want to look at every single thing. Trust me, you will see A LOT of pictures!

Have a great week!

Why “When Life Give You Lemons?”

I know the title of my blog is a little cliché to say the least. We have all heard the saying, “when life gives you lemons… (insert catchy phrase here)” I have a hard time coming up with fun or interesting titles for things. I always overthink and get really frustrated because I want my idea to be perfect. When I thought of this title, a light bulb went off!

 I have always been a positive and realistic person. I know that when something happens and it is out of your control, there is not much you can do about it. Life has given me lemons. It has given me big, fat, sour lemons and how to handle those lemons is completely up to me.

I decide to deal with my lemons by making lemonade as the famous quote goes. Turning a sour fruit into something sweet is my way of thinking. When we were first told about Avery’s heart condition I was very upset, as is expected, but after awhile I had to think there is nothing I can do so life has to go on. We were lucky enough to be able to pro-create. Some people try years and years and never get to have a baby. That is me making lemonade out of my situation.

A few months ago, James and I were in the OBGYN office waiting to see our doctor. A woman, her husband and four kids were waiting as well. The woman got called in and because I tend to be early to everything, we saw her come back out from seeing the doctor. She was crying as she went up to her husband and told him that they were unable to keep the baby. They had to go down to the hospital to get the baby removed. It was very sad and I couldn’t imagine having to go through that. Everyday I think how lucky I am that the chance of me loosing Avery is very slim. The worst thing that could happen is she would have to be delivered earlier than the expected date. 

So why did I choose my title? Because life will give you lemons. Life will present you with hard choices and difficult decisions to make. It will throw your plans completely out of sync and it doesn’t care what you have to go through. Life is sour, like lemons. It is what you choose to do with the lemons that separate you from others. You can dwell on the sourness of life and plant more lemon trees or squeeze out those lemons and add sugar. Make every challenge in life a reminder that someone, somewhere has it worse.

Paranoid Mother of a Baby with CHD

Ever since I found out about Avery’s heart condition I have been paranoid about my own heart. On the day of the diagnosis, I did not ask a lot of questions other then is there anything I can do to make her heart better. I guess you can say I was having an outer body experience because I was not sure why this was happening. I am not well educated on this disease and am not sure if it is a genetic thing or something I did.

Right when everything calmed down and the news was out to my family, I started reading articles on what makes a healthy heart. Two things I did right way was bought Cheerios and dark chocolate. With everything I have heard, Cheerios were a heart healthy cereal and a piece of dark chocolate a day was good for your heart protection. Luckily, I love these two food items and could eat them everyday, but for some reason I felt this would help some.

I also started to worry about getting my own heart beating quickly until I called the doctor. I was afraid that working too much (I serve at the Cheesecake Factory) or doing any type of activity that would wear me out would also work the baby’s heart. My doctor said that exercise was perfectly fine and that it was encouraged. From time to time I still get a little nervous when I run out of breathe.

 I think I know deep down I cannot do anything but I feel like I had one job when I got pregnant and that was to grow a healthy baby. It did not seem that hard. Just eat right, stay active and get rest. But even in doing those things, more things then others, I still have a sick little baby. The one thing I am thankful for is that my doctor was able to see that her heart was a little big and they are able to watch it. Technology sure has come a long way and monitoring these things is pretty easy.

I go to the OBGYN Tuesday and I have some questions about what to expect when Avery is born. I know she may not be able to give me exact answers but I do not like doing research on the Internet because some articles are scary. I will let you know what kinds of questions I ask and what her answers are. Although they may not relate to everyone, I am not a doctor so I won’t scare anyone with big words.